is life so fair

Another sonnet of sorts

To spend my time still drifting through my mind

Instead of lifting up to work the grind

To close my eyes to wake to find you gone

I roused to like myself as only one

And still my fluttering heart beats soon pound

Inside my chest as I am all alone

I needed you to call me on the phone

Although my feet are firmly with the ground

I yearn to hear your voice again and say

A simple word of loving ill refrain

Because your heart belongs to someone else

I am but stuck in hell all by myself  

Although it could be worse and life is fair

To me I find no other could compare

Ganga

A sonnet of sorts

If only love was simpler than it is

I find myself to mourn the emptiness

Of heart of soul how cold the Cupid’s tricks

To fill my mind of hope to hold her breast

If things were meant to be it seems I’ve missed

To reach my goal to reach on out to her

Our bodies seem to be awaiting bliss

Although we both do hold to lovers worse

At least I like to think as such of us

And when we are together may not come

I’d love us two to spiral all as one

Embracing bodies smoothly not of lust

Alas my lover comes not yet to me

I confess delusions may well be

Love is not here…

her touch is tainted she will tell no truth
her love has faded far beyond the skies

she has no barings now shes lost in youth

it may well take her life to realise 
her skin is broken telling tales of woe

she smokes and takes amphetamines with death

begin to free me from her crippled lows

I pray to god she’ll go to him instead
and left for me a gift of tainted shame

I have no means to say to other fems

I need to breath I need to clearly reign

my truth my space I need to find again
and lost is love over the rainbows end

the cost to shove my dreams out to descend 

Loneliness (Sonnet)…

As love is lost and never comes to me

The cost of bitter life in crazy walls

I close my eyes to joy as tears may fall

although my eyes are dry so I may breathe

 

Relax and stay a while as longing seeds

Of deeds may shoot to flower, fruit and be

Of praise and wonderment so slim and tall

The waves of doubt will spread and knock them all

 

And back and forth and round and round it seems

And loneliness my friend on whom I call

to be my lover true it has been deemed

to death we both will wonder slow and sure

 

And as my muse a faded glance or cry

I know to not be loved but to despise

 

 

Lord knows (Sonnet)…

As time will change my eyes to dimmer hues

Of reds and blues to grays of distant shades

My brains by rage and ways of hate; consumed

I stay remaining hazed in bitter age

 

The lines will fade as circles turn to choose

The same ol’ fate too late to come anew

And well, inside this cage of mental states

I wait and wait and wait for it to break

 

I’ve tried Lord knows I’ll go to hell confused

My aches and pains deranged for heavens sake
My plate is full, I have a roof, I’m tame

And yet I feel frustrated and abused

 

I’ve tried Lord knows I’m slow to grow my joy

To tune the chords so I can be destroyed…

Acid

To burn the crash the clash of every mind

The finite metaphors in visual shows

To find a splash of color may refine

I’ve lost a soul now bleak and monochrome

 

The signs are never obvious or kind

I’ll mind my own I’m sure of others lows

and what of sin so glamorous to flow

I’ll come perhaps one day to pay the price

 

To earn my stasis though is surely fine

as fine as gold or diamonds though I’ve woes

and balance dances wildly through my time

and what will last of this the winds may blow

 

away to dust, destroyed and fallen down

in specs to form a fog among the ground

 

 

The farm’s gates

The trees will dance in the far off forest
I seem to be of yearning to be there
The clubs and streets are not for me to fare
And frankly they are destitute and shit

A scene of hills so green of pavements less
The earth below my feet of mud and twigs
Is where I’d rather be I will admit
So what of meat in clubs of legs and breasts

Another fiend or foe who knew a friend
And all the while we all try to pretend
Of love and courtesy in every pit
We call our homes oh what a lonely trip

I’d hate to rant and rave oh it’s too late
I want to kiss my love by the farm’s gates